Wizardry Compiled

You can always tell a good idea by the enemies it makes.
— programmer's axiom

Everything always takes twice as long and costs four times as much as you planned.
— programmer's axiom

It's never the technical stuff that gets you in trouble. It's the personalities and the politics.
— programmer's saying

Those who can't do, teach.
— article of faith among students

And vice-versa.
— programmer's addendum to students' article of faith

Living with a programmer is easy. All you need is the patience of a saint.
— programmer's wives' saying

Applications programming is a race between software engineers, who strive to produce idiot-proof programs, and the Universe which strives to produce bigger idiots.
— software engineers' saying

So far, the Universe is winning.
— applications programmers' saying

The three most dangerous things in the world are a programmer with a soldering iron, a hardware type with a program patch and a user with an idea.
— computer saying

You can't do just one thing.
— Campbell's Law of everything

Friends come an go, but enemies accumulate.
— Murphy's Law #1024

and sometimes the the real trick is telling the difference.
— Murphy's Law #1024a

Whenever you use a jump, be sure of your destination address.
— programmer's saying

Always secure your files. You never know who's lurking about.
— programmer's saying

Never argue with a redhaired witch. It wastes your breath and only delays the inevitable.
— the collected sayings of Wiz Zumwalt

If you eat a live toad first thing in the morning, nothing worse will happen all day long.
— California saying

To you or the toad.
— Niven's restatement of California saying

--well, most of the time, anyway...
— programmer's caveat to Niven's restatement of California saying

You never find out the whole story until after you've signed the contract.
— programmer's saying

A jump gone awry is one of the hardest bugs to locate.
— programmer's saying

You can't unscramble an egg.
— old saying

You can if you're powerful enough.
— the collected sayings of Wiz Zumwalt

Magic is real, unless declared integer.
— the collected sayings of Wiz Zumwalt

Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.
— Clarke's law

Any sufficiently advanced magic is indistinguishable from technology.
— Murphy's reformulation of Clarke's law

Any sufficiently advanced magic is indistinguishable from a rigged demostration.
— programmer's restatement of Murphy's reformulation of Clarke's law

Putting twice as many programmers on a project that is late will make it twice as late.
— Brooks' law of programming projects

Never give a sucker an even break.
— W. C. Fields

Especially not if he's a big mean sucker.
— the collected sayings of Wiz Zumwalt

Sleep? Isn't that a completely inadequate substitute for caffine?
— programmer's saying

Good client relations are the key to a successful project.
— consultants' saying

At some time in the project you're going to have to break down and finally define the problem.
— programmer's saying

Customer support is an art, not a science.
— marketing saying

So are most other forms of torture.
— programmers' response

Programming is like pinball. The reward for doing it is the opportunity of doing it again.
— programmers' saying